Sex is a perfectly natural part of life. But, a lot of people don’t know how to feel about it. Feelings of shame permeate our sexual desires and actions, and we often believe that sex is something dirty. So, how did it come to be that something so natural is viewed with so much negativity? Why are even simple pieces of sex advice and sex tips for couples so taboo?
Many different traditions encourage people to believe that sex is impure. The chances are that you, too, live in a society with similar views. Your beliefs could come from your family, religious background, the community, or your friends.
Even though it’s the 21st century, sex is still a taboo for those reasons. However, despite that, everything is sexualized nowadays: popular culture, television, movies, books, and social media are all full of sexually provocative material.
On the one hand, we can view sex as something fun and exciting, while on the other, as something indulgent and wrong. That can be confusing for young people around the world.
But is feeling too much sexual pleasure really bad? Is wanting sex unhealthy, and should we limit ourselves like many say we should?
Sex Is Perceived as Dirty
Millions of people grow up with the notion that sex is a sin. They consider it a dirty act that has only one purpose — reproduction. And even then, they think we should do it quickly and in utmost secrecy.
A lot of the lessons we heard about sex as kids were lessons about risks and bodily fluids that can cause disease and infection. So, logically, we concluded sex was bad, and that we should avoid it.
“Don’t have sex; you might get an infection! Don’t dress like that! You look like a prostitute.”
Lately, however, the perspective has been shifting. Now, we can use the term “sexy” for almost everything — from lipsticks to food. And it almost always means the same thing as “good”.
Sex is no longer dirty, gross, or evil in the minds of many! However, a lot of people still have something against it. Also, to have a dialogue with them, we have to understand why they feel how they feel.
So, why do they hate sex?
Because of Culture
Society shapes and limits our experiences. While most cultures dictate that we should hold our sexuality behind closed doors, we are under a constant assault of sexualized imagery. Explicit scenes on television, clothing ads with explicitly “adult” messages, and pop music that propagates promiscuity are just some of the ways we are exposed to sex.
That can be polarizing. People who advocate sexual freedom can feel liberated by those examples. On the other hand, those who believe in traditional norms usually double down and become even more strict than before.
Sexualization, however, should not be confused with healthy sexuality, which is very important for mental and physical health. All human beings came into this world because of sex. As the song says — “Birds do it; bees do it; even educated fleas do it”.
Thousands of years ago, we held women and sexuality in high esteem. Later, things changed drastically. While sexuality can be abused, in essence, sex is the most beautiful thing that two people can share. As some would believe, when two are in love, they unite their hearts, energy, and spiritual connection through the act of making love and sexual intimacy.
Because of Our Religion
When it comes to sex, religions have a whole set of rules about what, how, and when people can do. While pagan religions were more open about sex, the Abrahamic religions that are prevalent today generally have a critical attitude towards sex.
Islam stictly forbids sex during Ramadan, and Judaism forbids it during the holiday of Yom Kippur. Some Christians consider sex as disrespectful to other people and your body as well. Hinduism, on the other hand, has never declared sex per se to be a sin. In fact, there is even a designated god for sex in the Hindu pantheon.
Because we see sex out of context in different religions, we are confused about what is beautiful and what is dirty. So many religions, so many rules! It seems to be much easier just to go with the crowd and enjoy sexual freedom.
Why Sex Is Better If It Is Viewed as Dirty
“Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.” Sexuality is a great source of energy. It makes us feel alive, desirable and fulfilled.
People will tell you that you should strive to be perfect. If they are religious, they will tell you to avoid sin. If they are just conservative, they will tell you to be modest. But, all of that can have a completely different effect. By making sex “dirty,” they make it more mysterious and exciting.
It is in our nature to obey most of the rules. That much is true, but breaking them can feel very liberating.
So, if sex is dirty and religion and tradition says “no,” we will want to have it even more. Some rules are meant to be broken! The feeling of excitement that you are doing something “bad” brings you adrenaline through the roof!
Dirty words, “perverted” scenes, and costumes — all those things become much more powerful turn-ons thanks to the rules that seek to ban them.
Having sex in the wrong places with the wrong people? Having kinky fantasies? It all becomes much more intense and much more exciting. It can be a gentle aspiration or an intense, irresistible force that overwhelms us. With the right person, your sex life is always fun, liberating, and truly wonderful — especially if everyone thinks your relationship is naughty.